1/3 of the way done!

We made it through 30 days!  It wasn't pretty, but we did it!  I felt guilty about all the food I ate this weekend, but that feeling didn't last long.  I just took my measurements and I've lost a total of 8.5 inches!  WOW!  We took pictures as well, and it's still true that I have reverse anorexia.  I always think I look better than I actually do!  There's no denying the truth of a picture!  I do see improvement, but not enough to brag about!

So again, the diet.  I have decided to stick to it as much as I can, but I can't eliminate everything and then feel bad about myself every time I have something delicious.  I know the diet is soooo important, but my happiness is more important.  I want to enjoy life!  And if that means I'm addicted to food, then I'm addicted to food.  I don't care that it puts me in a happy place.  I do not want to be upset with myself for enjoying dessert when I'm on a date with my husband.  Or grabbing ChickfilA with my friends and their kids.  That's life and I love those things. 

I'm proud of our efforts.  I'm feeling good.  I'm glad we still have 60 days left because I have a long way to go, but I'm happy with what I'm seeing.  8.5 inches and 4 pounds are gone.  I would have liked to weigh a little less, but it's okay.  I've got 2 more months to lose 7 lbs.  And if I do it slowly, it's more likely that I'll keep it off for good.  Changing your body takes a loonnnngggg time.  I wish it wasn't so hard, but it's very rewarding to be achieving goals!

Beautiful, Precious Memorial Day

Today is day 29 of our 90 day journey.  It's just been a beautiful, wonderful day full of sunshiney blessings!  I would say the only thing I can complain about is my kids are pooping machines.  We've changed their sheets 5 times over the course of the weekend.  And this morning we had to do it again! 

But after that fiasco, the day has been WONDERFUL!  We all 4 lied around in our bed for a good hour.  Then had breakfast together.  Then drank our coffee, listened to music, read the Bible, and talked on the porch.  Nate and I worked out while Tristan napped and Lily watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  Then had lunch and played outside until now.  As I type, Nate and the kiddos are napping.  Soon I will get ready to shower and prepare some stuff to grill out for dinner.  And maybe after dinner we will even get Handel's ice cream! :) 

It has been kinda strange having Nate home for the last 4 days in a row.  That NEVER happens!  But it's been great.  We even went on a date last night and got to have a real conversation!

Marriage is precious.  Babies are precious.  Life is precious.  Things have been hard for our family for awhile, but today is precious.  I am so grateful!

Rough week 4

Man, we were so busy this week.  We only worked out 4 days and had to eat meals out a few times.  Again, I don't want to beat myself up about it, but it throws you off!  When you're used to intently thinking about every ingredient you put in your body, it's hard to not care about a little ChickfilA!!  I want to not care...but I do.

Even though the week has been rough, I've managed to lose a pound.  My clothes are definitely fitting different.  I enjoy that!  Today is day 27 so in 3 more days we will take our 30 day picture.  I'm anxious to see if there is a visible change.  I've only lost 4 lbs., but again, my clothes don't fit the same so I'm wondering if it will be an obvious difference from day 1's picture.   I hope so.  That will give me some more motivation if I can SEE the routine is paying off.  If I really can't see a difference...well...that will be annoying!

We are hoping to enjoy the holiday weekend as a family.  We had a few plans, but Tristan and Lily have been throwing up so we will just be hanging around our house.  I'm just happy Nate's off work 3 days in a row.  That's so rare!   I hope everyone else gets quality time with their friends and families!

Busy, Busy

I started a new job this week and had a few meetings therefore have been pretty busy.  I haven't actually done any work yet, but I'm excited about this opportunity.  Someone Nate works with needed an administrative assistant for awhile. I get to work from home so I can still be with my children each day.  That is just amazing to me!  I miss teaching middle school a lot!  I mean I think about teaching weekly, but I feel called to be home full-time.  So when this opportunity came up, I was just excited to be able to make an income while still at home with my babies.  I'm feeling very grateful!

The job may not allow a lot of time to blog, but I WILL work out everyday still.  Nate and I haven't worked out together since last Tuesday.  I have been working out during Tristan's morning nap time.  But I think I'm going to have to go back to waking up at 5:30 in order to get in the work out.  I hate getting up, but I love having it done so I can get the housework done without stress.  And I really miss working out with someone. 

This week's workouts are different from the previous 3 weeks.  They call it a recovery week.  Monday was yoga X and I've done that every week.  But Tuesday was core synergistics and that was new and a gooood workout.  It's the type of workout I'm used to.  Fast-paced and lots of sweating.  It was exhausting, but I felt so good when I was done.

My weight has not changed.  At least it's not going up, but I would really prefer it go down!  Oh well, I'm doing what I can.  No shame in that.

24 days complete!

69 days left

Well, we just completed 3 full weeks!  We've definitely struggled on the weekends with the diet and getting in a workout, but life is too busy.  I don't want to beat myself up about not being perfect.  The point of this journey was to try to stick to something for 90 days to see a big transformation, but the diet is impossible.  I would much rather learn how to do things in moderation than to try to completely eliminate stuff for a season.  It's just too hard.  EVERYTHING has sugar in it.  Dairy tastes good.  And I miss bread.  That's why I had 4 pieces of pizza at my son's birthday party!!  Oops.

I know I feel better when I eat better, but seriously I'm annoyed.  And I'm really annoyed about the fact that I can't deviate from the diet AT ALL or I gain 3 lbs.  That's just ridiculous.  I'm never gonna be a fitness model so WHY do I need to eat like this????

I'm just questioning if I can do this any longer.  I can handle the workouts.  But the stupid restrictive diet...it's just too much.  However what's the alternative?  Never feel comfortable in my clothes again?  Either I keep going and allow a few cheats here and there, or gain back the weight and feel gross.  What's more important?  Ice cream or fitting into my jeans? 

I'm really struggling to find a balance.  I want to think about this clearly and with a healthy perspective.  This is tough. 

Day 19

I am determined to get this workout in, even though I don't want to or have time for it.  Our son's first birthday party is tomorrow and I have a lot of work to do to prepare for it.  So why am I on the computer writing my blog?  Because we got a new touch-screen computer and it's fun.  I had to try it out!!

Nate hasn't worked out since Tuesday because he's been too busy with work.  I have enjoyed sleeping in this week, but it's really annoying having to workout when the kids are awake.  I feel so anxious thinking, "When am I going to fit in a workout?"  If I could wake up at 5:30 am everyday I would, but it's just not realistic. 

I didn't get to blog yesterday because we were too busy running errands and cleaning for the party.  However, I would like to brag about the fact that I did an hour and 22 minutes of yoga X.  And I am actually seeing an improvement already!  I'm more flexible and able to hold the positions longer.  Who would have thought Tony Horton would be right? HA!  Not me!

I still hate the scale.  I am down to 128 but that's not good enough.  Since I was 127 all last week, I feel like I need to be there or lower in order to feel satisfied.  The obsession with the number is not good.  It shouldn't matter...but it does.  I'm not a model for healthy thinking.  Please don't follow in my footsteps because I am wrong.  At least I can admit it!

I HATE THE SCALE

It's the scale's fault.  I didn't do anything to deserve that wretched number.  Seriously, 130...again!  You've got to be kidding me.  I know I ate like a teenage boy all weekend, but the number just keeps going up.  I thought I was in the 120s forever.  WRONG!  I hate you, scale.  You're mean, you're ugly, and you don't share.

My workout was extra long this morning.  I had to stop and come back 50 thousand times to tend to potty training tasks, upload pictures on this dumb computer, answer the phone, and let a man in to pick up products he needed for a surgery.  I felt like I worked out for 4 hours.  I didn't even get to do ab ripper x because the kids needed fed.  They always need fed!

Well, as you can tell, my attitude is great.  The only positive thing I have to say is my sweet husband got me lots of new workout clothes for my birthday.  Apparently he's already sick of the 'maternity sweatpant and sports bra from high school' look I've been sporting each morning.  Now he can enjoy looking at a chubby highlighter working out next to him BRIGHT and early. 

Day 17, I hate you.

28 is Great!

I have had a wonderful birthday!  My children slept in, I got several tasks done around the house (including cleaning up Lilianna's poop smashed in the carpet, couch, and pack n play), we went to the park on this gorgeous day, shared an all-fruit smoothie, both kids took great naps, and now I'm having dinner made for me!  Success!

I was dragging during our workout this morning, but it feels great knowing we got it over with early on.  I'm going to relax and enjoy my sweet little family and whine about the fact that I'm getting old. 

Thanks for all the texts, calls, messages, and facebook posts!  They have made me feel loved and blessed!  Hopefully this year I will be in the best shape of my life as a 28-year -old mom of two!

Disastrous

My diet was pretty much non-existent over the weekend and I gained back 2 flipping pounds!!  I was worried I would do this....ANNDDD I did!  I'm so weak when it comes to pizza, donuts, Cheesecake Factory and Jeni's ice cream!  But it was my birthday celebration and Mother's day so give me a break!

But seriously I hate that.  The fact that I feel guilty about giving in to some wheat and sugar like it's the devil or something is just dumb.  This diet is so restrictive it's pretty much impossible to stick to while eating out.  I'm annoyed with myself for gaining 2 lbs., but I want to be able to live a little.  However, I said I would do 90 days, and once those 90 days are complete, I won't have to feel so guilty.  I want to eat healthy, I even enjoy eating healthy, but celebrating special occasions usually means eating fatty, heavy foods and I'm going to do it every once in awhile.  It's just life.  But until these 90 days are over, I HAVE to choose more wisely. 

I didn't work out on Saturday either. The day was just too busy to fit it in.  Oh well...a disastrous weekend does not mean I've failed this journey.  I just need to refocus.  So I've eaten well all day and did my workout and I feel better.  I'm back on track and plan on sticking to the course.  Just 75 more days!

Days 13 and 14 were not my friends.  But Day 15, I showed you who's boss.

Way too scared to work out!

Nate and I were awakened at 3:45 a.m. to blood-curdling screams.  It was unbelievably terrifying to listen to a woman across the street scream and beg for help as someone was apparently attacking her. We were so scared that I called 911 and Nate was throwing clothes on quickly to go out to help her.  We couldn't see anything, but this went on for several minutes. 

Finally the police arrived and we could hear her explaining to them what had happened.  We couldn't make out what she was saying, but it sounded like she was calm and they had the situation under control.  I sat in my bedroom shaking and my stomach turning as I thought we had just heard someone being murdered or raped just feet away from our house.  It took me good 2 hours to calm down and fall back asleep.

So, needless to say, we didn't get up at 5:30 to work out!  But we were able to workout at about 10 a.m. while Tristan napped.  It is so rare for Nate to be home during the day on a weekday, but it was great to get the workout done.  He was summoned for business calls the whole time, but I did the whole workout!! 

Also, last night I had a huge victory!  I resisted temptation and stuck to the diet at the banquet!  The only non-paleo item I had was salad dressing.  I wasn't going to mess up my streak with cheesecake!  I don't even like cheesecake!  But no sweets for 10 days is huge for me!  So, go me.  I'm the bomb dot com.

My weight has stayed at 127 lbs. most of the week.  I'm a little nervous about the weekend because we are heading to Hilliard to celebrate Mother's day and my birthday.  I'm going to try to stay away from the sweets, but with special occasions it's so difficult to deny my sweet tooth!  Maybe one cheat won't kill me...

Day 11: Yoga is Dumb

I seriously hate yoga.  How do people get into this?  I was a gymnast, and I can't do half of those moves they're demonstrating.  Of course we didn't even get to do the whole workout because the kids got up too early again.  But I guess I do feel less sore because we did all kinds of stretching.  However I don't think I'll ever like it.  It's just not my style of workout. 

I don't have anything else to write about.  Except I went to the doctor today for my yearly exam.  Gross, right?  Anyway, taking two children two and under...not the best decision I've ever made!  Especially since Lily is in her first week of potty training! Yeah, that was a trip.  But the doctor's office scale weighed me a pound heavier than my scale at home.  I'm thinking it was just because I had eaten and stuff before I went.  So I think my scale is pretty accurate.  Good to know! 

Tonight will be a test of my will power.  I'm going to banquet with a friend and dinner is provided.  I haven't had any ingredient off the paleo diet for 9 days.  I doubt all the food will be on my diet, so I'm wondering how I'll do.  I'm telling myself I won't cheat, but when the temptation's right in front of me it will be very hard.  I really want to stick to the diet...I really feel so good and the weight is finally coming off.  I WILL SUCCEED!  Well...we'll see ;)

Day 10- Feeling Great!

I am so surprised, but I feel great!  Just last week I was so exhausted, irritable, and weak I was ready to stop the diet.  Now after just 3 days of no symptoms, I feel better than I have in a long time!  I think my body is rejoicing because I haven't put any sugar in it for over a week!  I'm not gonna lie...I'm proud of myself.  And I've lost 4 lbs in 9 days.  Not too shabby!

Yesterday we did plyometrics.  That is a hard workout, but I like it the most out of all the ones we've done so far.  We sweat a ton, our muscles burn, and we're out of breath. It feels like we're burning the most calories with this workout.  However, it switches up so much that you don't get used to anything.  I love that.

I actually slept in today so I haven't done my workout yet.  When Tristan goes down for his morning nap I will do shoulders and arms.  I just felt like I needed to write about how good I feel. I wanted to encourage anyone trying a new lifestyle that it does get better.  Stick to your plan!  It may take your body several days, maybe even weeks to adjust, but you will feel great eventually!

Much love from the hood, (I really do live in the hood, don't judge)
April

Yea! My Name's Positive Polly!

Day 8: Choosing to be positive! 

No, really, I have a lot to be positive about.  These are totally unrelated to this physical journey, but my kids hit some major milestones!  Lily decided to potty train herself yesterday!  She has been wearing panties for over 24 hours and they've stayed dry the whole time!  I've always heard, "They'll let you know when they're ready." So far, I totally believe in this saying!  She is doing so well!  I'm so very proud of her.  She's such a big girl now!  And Mr. T started walking several weeks ago, but is off and running as of yesterday!!  He's so stinking cute!  I love that boy so much. 

This is all so exciting but sad at the same time.  They're growing up so fast! My heart swells and my eyes fill up with tears just thinking about how quickly they learn and change.  AHH, savor these moments, everyone.  They're so precious!

Onto P90X and such...it was another early morning, but so glad to get it over with.  We did chest and back plus ab ripper x.  I hurt my shoulder a little bit doing the push-ups and pull-ups.  Hopefully it's just tweaked and not injured.  I'll get to rest it a little since we don't do anymore pull-ups until Wednesday.  But I'm feeling good!  I think the weakness I was experiencing last week was from sugar withrawal.  Hopefully I'm through that.

I'll end this post with expressing my anger toward my husband.  He's already lost 6 pounds and I hate him.  Just kidding!  I love him, but it's just not fair how easy it is for men!  He also wanted me to share this video.  Enjoy finding out how awful sugar is!

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/05/07/the-sweetener-that-is-more-dangerous-than-alcohol.aspx?e_cid=20120507_DNL_art_1
Also, how awful would it be to find out they used your obese body and cut your head off for a video describing how disgusting fat is?

One Week Down, 12 To Go

Yesterday we did Kenpo X which is kickboxing.  It was a little cheesey, but a good workout.  I can't get over how awkward Tony Horton is. He's the guy that designed P90X and leads you through all the workouts.  Nate truly believes that Steve Carell watched and learned from him in order to prepare for his role in the show The Office.  I agree.  I'm uncomfortable through most of the workouts, just like I am when I watch that show. 

So today we got to rest and relax.  It's our one and only day off.  I kinda wish that we had to workout though because I eat better on days that I work out.  I'm craving everything I can't eat.  But, I've only cheated ONCE with that dang milkshake last Tuesday so I'm not going to do it again today.  I lost 2 pounds this week too, so I don't want to mess that up!

Just 83 more days!!!

How much longer?

I have felt awful all day.  Well, almost all day.  We woke up and worked out at 5:30 a.m., then I ate breakfast and tried to go back to bed but the kids were up right after 7 a.m.  I felt fine during the workout and after I showered, but from about 10 a.m. on, I've felt weak, tired, light-headed, and have had a headache. 

I don't understand what's going on?  And how much longer am I going to have to feel like this?  I am determined to stick to the diet, but if that's the problem, then I can't do this for 90 days.  I'm hot and about to pass out throughout the day, and I can't take care of the kids feeling like this.  I'm confused because Nate and I are eating the same things for the most part and he doesn't feel like this at all.

The workouts are not the issue.  It's hard getting up in the morning, but for the most part I can do them and am somewhat enjoying them.  I won't give up on the workouts no matter what I do with the diet.  I just wish I could feel better.  Losing weight is hard.  It's a test of your will power and discipline, but I don't think it should cause you to be ill!

Oh well, Day 5 is done.  I'm proud of our efforts so far!

Yucky, Year-long Yoga

I have never done yoga before this morning, and I'm glad.  It was so annoying.  We did the same sequence of positions for 40 minutes straight.  There was a slight variation each time, but sooo incredibly boring.  It was difficult and we sweated like pigs, but I did not enjoy it.  And the workout was so flipping long.  An hour and 32 minutes.  Are you kidding me?!  We only go to do a little over 40 minutes because the kids woke up, but I told Nate he is going to have to convice me every week to do that DVD.  I guess it's necessary, but ugh.

We are both so sore from the week.  But two more days and we finally get a break! We've done so well with the diet even though I've felt very weak at times.  I think I might be dehydrated because once I drank more water I felt better. 

Day 4 is in the books. 

Free at last!!!!!!!

Thank God Almighty, I am free at last!!!

CAUTION:  I may discuss topics that are TMI for some of you. Stop reading now if you don't want to know.

I have had a child in my womb or on my boob for 3 and a half years straight.  But today was my last day of nursing my son Tristan!  I will experience a freedom I haven't had in so long starting tomorrow.  I'm a little excited about it!  It's like a weight's been lifted from my chest- HA, get it! 

No, I was so very thankful to get pregnant so easily AND to be able to nurse both children for their first year, but I'm ready to be done.  And I'm hoping my appetite decreases cause I was always hungry when I nursed.  I might actually feel like I have my own body back soon.  I've been growing children for so long, I forget what that feels like!

Ok, anyway, today we got to sleep in a bit.  We didn't work out until almost 8 am.  It was arms and shoulders and I have no clue what I'm doing with the weights.  I don't know when to use which weight, so this will definitely be a learning experience.  It was a good workout, a long workout, but I need to work on form and stuff.  Hopefully I'll get better and more confident.

I cheated on the diet last night.  Anna Niciu, I'm blaming you.  That chocolate milkshake tasted pretty flipping good though!  :) But one small set-back and I won't do it again for the rest of the week.

Day 3 complete. 

Day 2- Good, but mostly bad

I don't have a lot to say.  I just know that 4:45 am is too early to be bopping around like an idiot.  Today's workout was plyometrics which is all jump work.  It was a great workout, and I was able to do it all!  However, Nate and I had to take turns jumping in order to keep our built in the 1920s home intact.  And so we didn't wake up the sleeping babies.
But, I don't feel good at all.  Very weak and sluggish.  I thought the diet would give me energy.  I wonder if I'm not eating enough?  I'm grumpy cause I'm tired and blah.  I'm not hungry, but I feel like I could pass out at any moment.
One more good thing- I lost a pound.  So I'm basically skin draped over bones now.