Monday, June 11, 2012

On to week 7

Today is the first day of week 7.  My diet was disastrous this weekend.  I tried to make good choices, but I ruined them by having ice cream and other desserts.  I went into the weekend weighing 123 lbs.  Three days later I weigh 126 lbs.  Ridiculous. 

I have this conversation in my head all time time: "It doesn't matter what you weigh.  Just enjoy some ice cream.  Don't worry about what other people think."  And then an hour later, "I will NOT ruin this.  I have worked too hard to sabbotage it with all that sugar.  It's not worth it." 

Sometimes I make the right choice, sometimes I don't. 

I still have 47 days to get down to 120 lbs.  I know I will do that, but it will be difficult to maintain it.  I really hope at the end of the 90 days I don't care about the number and am just proud of my hard work.  It's just so rewarding to see the number go down! 

I was thinking the other day...has there ever been a time in my life where I felt completely confident about my body?  No, I don't think there has.  There's always something that needs to be tighter, smaller, less cellulitey.  Until I don't have to worry about things hanging, I don't think I'll feel "done".  So yes this journey is 90 days, but I know I will have to work my entire life to feel comfortable.  That's kind of annoying and overwhelming.  But it brought me to the conclusion that I HAVE to find out how to feel confident aside from how much I weigh.  Otherwise, I'll always feel like I don't add up. 

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