Day 68- Accepting disappointment? Or try something extreme?

I'm on my way to accepting the fact that I won't look like I wanted to by the end of this journey.  I had a high expectation that I would look skinny and ready for a photo shoot.  Bah!  I didn't think I really thought that, but I am totally let down by my 60 day pictures.  So I guess I was really unrealistic in the beginning.  I saw a friend of mine get ready for a bikini fitness competition and looked amazing in 8 weeks so I thought it was a possibility.  But she was incredibly disciplined with her diet and I haven't been.  I do Paleo about 70% of the time.  That's not enough to eliminate the fat and shred up my body.  It's made a difference, but I'm definitely not getting the results I was hoping for.

So I'm trying to decide if I should go straight Paleo for the last 3 weeks of this journey to see if it improves my results.  I want to do some type of cleanse because I feel so bulky still, but I don't think I want to cut out the protein.  I just know that I need to change up the diet.  I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do, but Monday morning I will start.  I didn't want to do that because I wanted to eat a maintainable diet; however I'm just not happy with the results so I guess I have to be extreme for a few weeks.

I think that my idea of looking good is being skinny.  Shapely muscles aren't attractive to me.  You can't even tell I have muscles unless I flex.  I'm not going to go around flexing my muscles, so I still don't like what I look like just standing there.  I look okay.  I look fine for having had two babies.  But I'm definitely not skinny therefore I don't feel confident.  I feel like I need to apologize for being so whiny, but this is where I am.  Sorry!