3 more days!

My week started off so slow.  I traveled this weekend to celebrate birthdays, and it was so hard to get back into the routine. Anyone else get like that?  If I don't work out two days in a row, it's much harder for me to work out on the third day.  I NEVER skip a Monday workout.  It's always hard to get myself to work out on Monday because generally I just don't want to.  But I know if I do it, the rest of the week will seem easier cause I'll only have to work out 4 more times.  However this Monday, I did not work out.  That means I have to work out Saturday just to get in 5 days this week.  BUT it's my LAST WEEK!!!

Tuesday's workout was Core Synergistics.  I thought I wanted to do that, but I didn't.  And today's workout was Kenpo X.  I thought it wouldn't be bad, but it was.  I'm just really ready to be done!!

I have discovered how AWFUL I feel when I eat bad.  I think that I want these rich, tasty foods because they look so desirable.  So I eat them and then I'm doubled over in pain until the next day.  I know that sounds dramatic, but it really does happen.  Grains, sugar, dairy...they hurt.  I love the way they taste, but my body does not like them anymore.  You would think it would deter me, but no.  I'm still a fat kid at heart.  I think I can get away with eating them once a week.  Everything in moderation, right?  Problem is, just like with not working out for a few days, it's really hard to stop eating bad.  Once you let yourself do it once, it is really hard to get back on track.  Even when it makes you feel horrible for 18 hours.  We've got serious issues here.  But I know that I'm eating better overall.  I'm only human...and a very flawed one at that. 

On Saturday I will do my final measurements, weight, and pics.  Thankfully I'll be done with this journey.  I can't flippin' wait.

10 more days!

I'm just gonna post some pics.  I'm still not thin, but I am in a lot better shape.  I'm trying to look at the bright side...

ALMOST DONE!  AND SO READY TO BE!

19 days left!!

I'm excited that I'm almost done.  I will obviously continue to work out and watch what I eat, but this specific 90 day challenge is almost over and I'm ready to be done.  I'm proud of myself for sticking to it.  It has really helped me learn how to be disciplined.  I can now deny cravings and make working out a priority. 

Before I started this, my weight plateaued between 133-136.  Now I'm staying around 123-126.  I think/hope these 10 lbs are gone forever.  I thought that I would be smaller, but I guess my body feels comfortable at this weight.  I started 100% Paleo yesterday and hope to stick to it for 3 weeks so maybe I will lose a little more weight.  I'm also going to try a few herbs called CCEW, Alfalfa, and ACS to hopefully detox a little bit.  I hate going to the extreme.  I wish old-fashioned working out and watching what you ate produced great results, but they aren't happening as quickly as I want so this is what I'm trying. 

19 more days!!! :)

Day 68- Accepting disappointment? Or try something extreme?

I'm on my way to accepting the fact that I won't look like I wanted to by the end of this journey.  I had a high expectation that I would look skinny and ready for a photo shoot.  Bah!  I didn't think I really thought that, but I am totally let down by my 60 day pictures.  So I guess I was really unrealistic in the beginning.  I saw a friend of mine get ready for a bikini fitness competition and looked amazing in 8 weeks so I thought it was a possibility.  But she was incredibly disciplined with her diet and I haven't been.  I do Paleo about 70% of the time.  That's not enough to eliminate the fat and shred up my body.  It's made a difference, but I'm definitely not getting the results I was hoping for.

So I'm trying to decide if I should go straight Paleo for the last 3 weeks of this journey to see if it improves my results.  I want to do some type of cleanse because I feel so bulky still, but I don't think I want to cut out the protein.  I just know that I need to change up the diet.  I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do, but Monday morning I will start.  I didn't want to do that because I wanted to eat a maintainable diet; however I'm just not happy with the results so I guess I have to be extreme for a few weeks.

I think that my idea of looking good is being skinny.  Shapely muscles aren't attractive to me.  You can't even tell I have muscles unless I flex.  I'm not going to go around flexing my muscles, so I still don't like what I look like just standing there.  I look okay.  I look fine for having had two babies.  But I'm definitely not skinny therefore I don't feel confident.  I feel like I need to apologize for being so whiny, but this is where I am.  Sorry!