Why am I doing this?!?!



On our honeymoon



I'm asking myself if I've gone mad...but really, I WANT to do this.  I've wanted to do this for long time, but I finally have the motivation to actually follow through. 

Here's a little background info for those that are wondering...

I have always had a smaller frame and stayed pretty active.  I cheered, danced, and did gymnastics through high school.  So my average weight was about 115 lbs during college.  I was never satisfied with my body, but I also didn't work out all that much.  I would get into the habit of working out, but after a few months would take it out of my routine and it didn't really affect my figure too much.

I was in the best shape when I got married. Like most brides, I worked out, tried to eat right, and lost weight for my wedding day. At 23 years old, I was about 110 lbs. and felt comfortable in my clothes and felt healthy.  However, soon into our marriage, my husband got a new job, and we had to live 2 hours from each other.  This caused me to eat out a lot, which in turn helped me put on 10 lbs very quickly. I was running and training for a 5-mile race, but I could not keep the weight off due to all the chipotle and panera I was consuming.  I also lost my period and was having major hormonal issues, and I could not stop gaining weight.  So, I got up to about 125 lbs, then saw a natural doctor and he helped get my cycle back to normal, and then BAM- got pregnant unexpectedly with our first child!

39 weeks pregnant with baby #1 (168 lbs)

I got up to a whopping 168 lbs with the pregnancy and I was HOT!  No, not at all actually.  I know that some women look absolutely beautiful while pregnant.  I am not one of those women!!  I got huge...everywhere.  I didn't acually know how big I was until I saw pictures.  I was embarrassed.  I never wanted to be that big again.  I gaind 43 lbs with my daughter, and I naively thought I would be back down to a size 2 and 115 lbs in no time.

38 weeks pregnant with baby #2 (157 lbs)

HA- I was wrong!  I worked out pretty consistently for about 5 months and got down to 135 lbs, but never lost any more weight.  I stopped trying to lose the weight and I was ready to accept that I was just going to be 20 lbs more than I was before my child...and then BAM- got pregnant with baby #2!  I wasn't even done nursing my first child and was pregnant again.  But, this time the weight didn't go up right away.  I was so very sick for over 20 weeks with my son that I lost about 7 lbs and got down to 128 lbs.  But, by the end, I delivered my son weighing 157 lbs.  Not AS bad as my first pregnancy, but still so far awy from where I wanted to be.

After having my son, I waited 7 months to start trying to lose weight.  I got down to 135 lbs again without really trying.  But, I still wasn't comfortable at that weight, so on January 2, like every other American, I made the resolution to lose the baby weight.

For four months, I have worked out 4 days a week using Jillian Michaels DVDs and I feel good.  Good, but not great. So, here I am, mother of two, and a totally different body than I used to have.  My daughter is now 2.5 and my son is 11 months old.  I don't want to have another baby for at least 2 more years.  So it's time.  It's time for me to get this weight off and feel GREAT about myself again.

I want to be comfortable in my clothes.  I don't want anything hanging over my pants.  I don't want to have to hide my stomach in big shirts anymore.

So because I am a goal/task-oriented person, I thought P90X was a great choice.  It's rigorous, but there is an end-date.  I can do 90 days.  I can do it!  So, a few more days of eating whatever I want and being a fat kid, and on Monday the torture begins.  I'm excited!

Tomorrow I will post my start weight and other measurements...and maybe some pictures.  I'm not sure if I'm ready to do the pics or not!!  But, feel free to follow my journey!!